A Psychotherapists Reply on Training
In my last SNHC post I wrote about Training Beyond 80% Ability, the possible consequences and how we try to incorporate this thought into our daily work. We had some very interesting feedback on this post and I felt this feedback warranted a separate post.
Below is a psychotherapists viewpoint on this topic – I hope you enjoy reading her very valuable comments on our previous SNHC post.
Her Thoughts
“Training beyond 80% ability.” This is an interesting thought on training. A thought which I had not ‘thought about,’ if you see what I mean. I will think about it with regard to myself, because I have a suspicion, that I am inclined to break that rule too often!
However, it brought something else up for me, which is the relationship that you have with Sasha.
An engaged mother, who has her finger on the pulse of her child – which is where it needs to be for the system to work – is subliminally aware, as if by a sixth sense, of her child’s needs – ATTUNEMENT is the current buzz word. You were attuned to Sasha at that moment. in a way that the coach could only dream of.
However, this leads me on to thinking that ‘a coach’ is acting as a ‘mother’ in the context of what she’s doing – just as I am a ‘mother’ to my clients and should be able to ‘read’ them like their mothers should, but they don’t (which is why they’re with me in the first place!)
A good coach, trainer, horse trainer – needs to be able to read her pupils/horses just as a mother does her children, and that coach was way out of her depth. Part of the skill of training, is to have that quality, but I’m not sure how many do.
The Reason We Struggle to Feel and Read:-
I think the problem is that it’s like a muscle – actually a component of the brain – that has either never been exercised, or never developed in the first place.
If their mother didn’t attune to them, they will never have been on the receiving end of the experience, so that when they have their own children, they can’t do it with them. I think it is probably an innate human capacity which many of us have lost.
For many people, their children no longer come first in their lives – particularly working women, although that’s a very unpopular thing to say at the moment. This means that their finger is not on their children’s pulse and that’s when things begin to go wrong for the children. Although even when a mother has her finger on the pulse in some ways, it doesn’t mean that she’s attuned to her child, in the way that I mean.
The Breakdown of a System
It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s the breakdown of a system. Children need someone, to have their finger on their pulse, just as gymnasts need their coach to be totally attuned to them and their bodies, and horses need their horse trainers/owners to be completely attuned to them.
Society is very left-brained these days, and these things can’t be learnt from books. Maybe they can only be handed down from one person to another, by some sort of osmotic process – a good mother’ teaches’ her children, without them even knowing that they have learnt it.
Here is a link to our previous SNHC post which this post followed on from.
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